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Now, I hide my journal, unwilling to share and guarding my feelings jealously, wishing I could simply slip away and return to my alien lover and revel in the freedom of showing my true self, the self that he helped me discover, the self that I suspect the others would not understand. Oh, the cravings I now feel, that I suspect have been buried deep within me, pull at me with a yearning that is almost painful. After the first time he took and ravished me, I felt strangely linked, as if he could sense the taboo desires within my breast that, once awakened could not, cannot, be put to rest again! I find myself wishing, when I make love to my sweet Emma or with James or, especially, Bull, that they would treat me roughly and take me by force…At night, I have waking dreams, recalling of the feel of Isshu’s tentacles wound around my limbs, pinning me helplessly as he plunged his phallus into my pussy or my bottom, my cries echoing through the chamber. Of me writhing as the mouth-like. Now, over the past year, Annie has come to give me more and more heropinions on what I should wear and how I should look. My hair, which wasalready rather on the longish side for a man, has not been cut in thepast year. Annie sweetly runs her fingers through my long locks andsmiles whenever I say I think it needs a trim. The trim has not happened.But discreet scrunchies securing my shining ponytail have happened.Depending on Annie's mood and sexual eagerness, MY ponytail can be placeddemurely from the nape of my neck, down my back, or in her favoriteposition, elegantly raising from the back crown of my head and bouncingas we stroll hand in hand, exploring the city and ourselves.Naturally some things which Annie proposes and , in fact demands, havebeen, shall we say, inconvenient, or even, in point of fact, humiliating,especially when in public. SHE knows this. That is part of her thrill,her need. And, to tell you the truth, being humiliated and laughed at, isnot fun. Even if no one.
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